Rediscover Sexual Pleasure After Cancer With Tiffany Yelverton – Ep 40

How do you reconnect with your sexuality after trauma?

As women, we face all kinds of challenges when it comes to sexuality. We’re raised not to be overtly sexual, we’re often discouraged from talking about what we want in the bedroom, and we’re held to expectations about our appearance that can leave us feeling decidedly unsexy when we don’t look just how society expects.

When you add a cancer diagnosis and treatment layer to the pile, things can get even harder. That’s where Tiffany Yelverton comes in. Tiffany was an early guest on the Rich Life Revolution, where she shared her expertise as a sex coach on seizing your sexual confidence. Recently, Tiffany began researching and promoting her team’s newest project: Sexy Survivors. Designed for women who have completed cancer treatment, the program will fill a niche that is curiously absent from mainstream cancer treatment.

The lens of femininity on cancer survivors

For women experiencing cancer and its aftereffects, feminity comes into stark focus. Treatments and surgeries drastically affect the body, from mastectomies that remove one or both breasts to surgeries that physically alter the vagina or surrounding area to the hormonal drugs prescribed to deal with the onset of medical menopause, a common result of many treatments.

Whether cancer causes hormonal, physical, or emotional trauma, so many women leave the cancer clinic after their final treatment, questioning their feminity and their sexual future. Are they attractive anymore? Will they ever be able to have “normal” sex again?

Well, as a friend of mine puts it, normal is a setting on your washing machine, and Tiffany’s goal with her insightful, healing program isn’t striving or claiming to put everything back the way it was. She’s here to teach women that sex and intimacy after cancer is different but can still be amazing.

The opportunity for a “new” normal

“In Sexy Survivors, we teach that sex can look and feel different than it used to and still be just as good, if not better, when you love your body and embrace what you’ve gone through,” Tiffany explains. Her goal as a sex coach has always been to show women they can have create their own Rich Lives full of outstanding sex, and that doesn’t change if or when the body does.

Cancer—not to mention pretty much any other trauma—can make people no longer feel sexy or lose their sex drive altogether. Their partners are part of this equation too; many are hesitant to reinstate intimacy for fear that they might hurt their loved one, and a lot of relationships end during cancer treatment (twice as many women as men in treatment go through divorces).

Sexy Survivors is starting out as a six-week program for women who have completed their cancer treatments, focused on helping them rediscover trust in their bodies and identify how to feel pleasure again through different angles, erogenous zones, or accessories. In time, though, Tiffany plans to expand the offering to include partner education and courses for women and men who have experienced all kinds of trauma.

The missing piece in cancer recovery and treatment

Countless women recognize the promise of Tiffany’s work. The biggest hurdle now is to convince hospitals and cancer clinics that Sexy Survivors belongs in their facilities. Tiffany aims to have these centers fund the program for their patients, and this calls for a lot of case studies and presentations around the country.

Doctors need to be focused on the physical recovery of their patients, but so often, this focus is at the expense of all other layers of recovery. A client once told Tiffany that her doctor’s response to her heartbreak over a pending mastectomy was, “They’re just breasts; get over it.” While this is a particularly callous example, it highlights a well-known problem: the essential aspects of cancer recovery beyond the physical are often treated as someone else’s problem when they ought to be an integral part of any treatment regimen.

That’s what Tiffany is working on, and I’m so impressed and inspired by her approach and her dedication to cancer survivors. This episode is packed with stories and wonderful reminders of the importance of sexuality and body confidence in building our Rich Life Revolutions, whatever


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