Understand Your Brain to Enrich Your Life with Fletcher Ellingson – Ep #24

Why do I always freak out over change?

That’s an excellent question! If you’ve been following along, you already know that I’m a big fan of examining my feelings to figure out where they’re boiling up from and using that knowledge to help me achieve my richest life (and offer advice on how to achieve yours)!

I recently had a meaningful Rich Life Revolution podcast one-on-one with Fletcher Ellingson. He’s a great friend, a life-changing mindset coach, and a heartfelt advocate for all things self-reflection and personal growth. He’s also the author of a new book, The Practice of Feeling Good, and I’ll be gifting this must-read to one lucky listener—be sure to head over to this episode’s post on Instagram for a crack at a free copy!

The deeper meaning of homesickness

Who hasn’t been homesick? Fletcher shared a story with me that is so relatable and has such an inspirational takeaway I had to share it here.

He recently took a solo trip to Maui, which he was hesitant to do because, historically, he’s had a hard time traveling alone and often ended up coming back early after homesickness hit him hard. He was convinced that this trait was a personal weakness, but during an overwhelming bout of it on a beautiful beach on the Valley Isle, he came to a life-changing realization: his homesickness was just neuroscience at work. Your brain is wired to worry about change because its job is to keep you safe at all costs, and change can be dangerous. As a result, your noggin floods with unpleasant chemicals aimed at convincing you to turn tail and run home.

This realization showed Fletcher two things: first, that what he was feeling was totally normal and biological, not a personal failing; and second, that once he acknowledged the fact that loving his family and being safe away from them could be true at the same time—his brain chilled out and his homesickness receded.

Acceptance VS toxic positivity

It’s important to keep in mind that Fletcher didn’t brush off his homesickness. Instead, he acknowledged what it was trying to tell him and inspected the evidence behind it. Sometimes, the concerns our brains present are legitimate, and sometimes they aren’t. The trick is to figure out which is which!

Getting past a bad feeling is a great goal, but it can be all too easy to skip the in-between steps of the process and jump right to the denying, and this can lead to toxic positivity. Ignoring our worry, fear, sadness, or grief isn’t as helpful or sustainable as recognizing it, communing with it, and learning how to find a place for it within our goal for a richer life.

Working on your rich life revolution—or on living a life of abundance, like Fletcher strives to do—doesn’t mean you can never feel those “bad” feelings. They have as much to teach us and as much potential to enrich our lives as the “good” feelings do—we just need to change the story and remind ourselves, as Fletcher puts it, that “there’s nothing wrong with me and I can do this.”

You CAN do this!

Fletcher’s take on living his richest life is so refreshing and accessible. Be sure to listen to the episode to hear even more about his mindset and how he’s living his core values and helping others discover and live theirs. His new book, The Practice of Feeling Good, explores all this, and you have a chance to win a copy! Listen to the podcast to get all his insights, and then revolutionize your life with a signed copy of his book, which you can win by hopping over to our Instagram!

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